Have I ever told you how much I love Cadbury Creme Eggs? Have I ever told you of my undying affection for them? They are among my favorite sweets of all time and were my mental fortitude a bit weaker I might just eat them by the truckload. I don’t know what’s in the creme inside those chocolate eggs, but if you told me it was cocaine I’d probably believe you. One year I bought thirty Cadbury Creme Eggs, and all of them were gone in about four to five days. They would have been eaten even faster if not for a modest show of restraint on my part. This year I managed to limit myself to just buying three Cadbury Creme Eggs, and I got them really cheap since it was a week after Easter and they were sitting on the clearance rack at the grocery store. But you gotta understand, the only reason I didn’t buy more is because at that point nearly all the Cadbury Creme Eggs left on the clearance rack were damaged, and I could only find three of them in good condition. I’m somewhat proud of myself for showing a bit of discipline and not buying any more from the clearance rack, seeing as how I’d gobble them all down regardless of their physical condition, but although this year’s battle has been won, the war will return every single year for as long as Cadbury keeps producing these absurdly delicious chocolate eggs. Next year I might cave and send another thirty or so down the hatch.

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