Recently I found myself watching a show on youtube where a group of guys were discussing which fictional universes they would like to live in and which ones they would not want to live in. I decided to run this mental exercise myself with regards to universes found in some of the video games I’ve played, and came to the conclusion that although there are many that I enjoyed playing through, most video game universes I would never want to actually live in. Below are several of the video game universes I would never want to live in and why.

Why any sane person would want to live in Gotham City is beyond me. It is more or less guaranteed that you will be mugged, beaten, raped and/or killed.

Mass Effect
There’s a lot of cool stuff in the future, but it seems almost all of today’s problems still exist. Even if you’re born in a good part of the galaxy and enjoy a nice life, all of that will comes to an end when the Reapers show up.

The Last of Us
Why would you ever want to experience the zombie apocalypse, especially one this grim?

Similar to the The Last of Us, except the Chimera have crazy guns, alien technology and are actively wiping out humanity.

Similar to Resistance, but on a galactic scale.

God of War
If you see Kratos, run. If you live in or anywhere near the ancient Greek world, run. Then again, it probably won’t save you.

Final Fantasy 10
Living everyday in fear that a giant monster called Sin will come and kill you. Even if you never run into Sin, you still have to deal with all the other monsters that inhabit the land. Come to think of it, a world infested with monsters seems to be a common element in all the Final Fantasy games.

As a human, you’re completely expendable.

Call of Duty/Battlefield
If you live in a major city or nearby anything that would be cool to blow up, then you’re just waiting to die.  Even if that doesn’t happen you’ll probably be murdered by a child or teenager shouting racial and sexual slurs at you and then you’ll get teabagged while you lie dead/dying on the ground.

Now, there are a few video game universes that might not be so bad, depending on the context. Below are a few universes that might be ok under certain conditions.

Assassin’s Creed
Since the war between the Assassins and the Templars is hidden from public view, you could potentially live a normal life completely unaware of what was going on. Then again, if you’re a Templar you’ll probably be quietly stabbed in the back by an Assassin, and if you’re an Assassin you’ll be forever on the run from Templars seeking your death.

Like Assassin’s Creed, you could live your whole live blissfully unaware of Nathan Drake’s escapades, other than the occasional sudden drop in the world’s pirate and mercenary populations. If you’re an ally of Drake, you actually have a good chance of surviving and maybe even getting some cool ancient treasures, although you would probably have a bad case of PTSD from the stress that accompanies Drake’s adventures. If you’re an enemy of Drake or a mercenary for hire, then you’re dead and you just don’t know it yet.

Are you in the show or not? If you’re just a spectator this could be really cool to watch, assuming that somehow the contestants are not dying every time they get blown up or wrecked. If you’re in the show then you better pray that respawns are for real. This line of thinking would also apply to the MotorStorm universe.

Are there any video game universes I would actually want to live in? I’m still thinking that one over and if I come up with any I might do a post on them.

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