Awhile back I got the chance to play through a game called Ryse: Son of Rome. Officially, Ryse is the story of Marius, a roman soldier on a blood-soaked quest for revenge against those who murdered his family. As I progressed through the game, however, I realized that the true story of Ryse is actually that of Marius, the world’s most zealous field surgeon. Everywhere Marius goes he sees infected limbs that require amputation and he is only too willing to help. As a professional surgeon, Marius makes the operations quick, usually with a single slice of his sword, though he seems to leave the job of closing the wound for others, so I can only assume he is followed around by a team of medics who stop the bleeding and patch up all the men lying of the ground. Interestingly enough, it seems that it is predominantly the barbarians’ right arms that have come down with incurable infections. I would think that the proportion of left-handed individuals in a society suddenly shot up whenever Marius passed through. It is unfortunate the Marius lived during roman times, as he would have made a great business partner for Ned Flanders.

Sorry bro, that arm’s infected.

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