Hello everyone, and welcome to my post on Knack, THE GREATEST VIDEO GAME EVER MADE!!! You will forever remember the day you read this post. Today the Gospel of Knack will be preached among you and all will bow before the magnificence of a game so perfect that Chuck Norris himself acknowledged it as divine.
Forged in the pure flames deep inside Mt Fuji by Mark Cerny, the High Priest of PlayStation, Knack was brought forth into the world to grace the launch of the PlayStation 4. Immediately hailed as the pinnacle of gaming, it became the best selling video game of all time and automatically made the PlayStation 4 the best video game console ever. All who played Knack were overcome by the divine glory emanating forth from it and countless miracles have been attributed to Knack’s power. I personally was on the brink of death from terminal stage four cancers of the brain, lungs, heart, stomach, and prostate, when a copy of Knack came floating in through the window of my hospital room and touched me gently on the forehead. At once my tumors dissolved into nothingness and I was discharged from the hospital that very day, stronger and healthier than I had ever been in my entire life. Today I live as an apostle of Knack, proclaim its self-evident glory to all. Now listen as I speak of its wonders.
Knack is the riveting tale of a sentient relic that saves humanity from marauding goblins, greedy industrialists, and the menace of an ancient civilization. Even the dead cannot help but be moved by its story and characters. Absolute gameplay perfection carries the player between each tremendous story beat, with Knack displaying his mastery of jumping, punching, pushing levers, and growing in both literal and metaphorical stature. Knack’s visuals put the afterlife to shame and its soundtrack makes angels embarrassed for their comparative lack of musical skill. Upon finishing Knack you may very well quit gaming all together, realizing that you will never experience anything better in your entire lifetime. It is the undisputed apex of human achievement—a creation surpassing everything man ever has or ever will produce upon this world or any others.
Knack is power. Knack is greatness. Knack is wisdom. Knack is the game you should be playing right now. Go now, and play Knack!